Tim was a great kid. He grew up in a middle-class family with his brothers and sisters. He had a loving dad and mom. At 16, Tim was well liked and popular in school. He achieved good grades, was a leader in his class and was involved in many activities. One day Tim and three of his buddies pulled a boyhood stunt. They obtained some beer, drank more than their share, and began to get silly. They came up with the bright idea to go over to their school and climb up the flagpole. After climbing to the top, they began to sing, cause a ruckus, and make a major scene. When the folks in charge heard the commotion, the boys fled before they could be caught. The next day at school everyone became aware of the situation but did not know who was involved. It was announced that the weekend dance would not go on if the culprits were not discovered. Of the four, Tim was a young man of integrity. He went to the school authorities and confessed his part. After all, it was the right thing to do and others should not have to suffer for his actions. They wanted to know who else was involved, but Tim would not disclose anything but his part. He was the only one who came forward, and the school officials decided to make an example of him in front of the faculty, students, and their families. Tim’s friends were not willing to admit to their part, and he was deeply wounded by their betrayal. Tim was also embarrassed that everyone knew what he had done. Tim’s life drastically changed after that incident. He could not forget the weakness of his friends or the public embarrassment from the staff. That summer things cooled off from the incident, but heated up on the inside of Tim. He dropped out of sports— he probably would have played pro had he not quit. He stopped being a part of school activities and immersed himself in his studies. The whole thrust and course of his life was changed. Tim had always been a leader, active in helping others, and someone to be counted on. He still appeared in many ways to be the same, however, something had happened to his fire; his competitive edge was gone.
Bob’s story is very similar, yet things turned out so differently. In Bob’s junior year at high school the principal called an all-school assembly. All the students, the principal, the teachers, and other dignitaries were gathered. Bob and four other fellows decided to fire off a cherry bomb firecracker. It was an exciting moment with a loud bang. Everyone was startled. The teachers did not know who did it. They continued with the assembly until Bob and the boys decided to do it again since it was so funny. Well the assembly ended abruptly and all the students were sent back to class. Immediately an announcement came over the PA system: School elections were cancelled until the culprits were found. Bob thought it over. He then went to the principal and asked what would happen to those who did it if they con fessed. After being assured that the matter would not leave that office, Bob confessed but refused to tell on the others. He knew it was not his place to tell their story. No one else came forward. The principal told the staff. The student body found out, and Bob received a three-day suspension, as well as after-school time. Bob, however, did not take offense but swallowed his pride and forgave the principal. He continued to participate in sports and except for occasional high school story-telling times, forgot the incident.
Tim went on in school and obtained a good education, met his wife, had children and obtained a great job. It all looked good on the exterior, but inside Tim had died. Unforgiveness for the high school leadership swelled in his heart. This stopped him from being bold in his convictions, unable to follow through with decisions, he rambled aimlessly unable to communicate his true feelings, the point of his communication lost in a sea of words. As successful as he was in life, Tim was unfulfilled. He was not doing what he really wanted to do in life. Tim had stopped growing on the inside. A great man with great potential was stifled by doing a foolish stunt and then allowing himself to fall into unforgiveness. For over 30 years Tim walked in unforgiveness. He held himself back, unable to reach the fullness of his potential. Because of an incident at age 16 he was unable to go beyond the lid that he had placed over his life. A young man with much ability and strong potential now all lying dormant. Some would say, “Oh he just didn’t get the breaks; it had nothing to do with him.” Wrong! It was his inability to walk in the most powerful force, called forgiveness. Well, after over 30 years he admitted he had unforgiveness for those folks. He forgave them, and his life has been on an accelerated pace ever since. He has grown and matured by the hour. The lid is off, and he has sprouted into a tall oak tree. His business has multiplied and prospered. He does in two months what he used to do in a year. His wife is more beautiful and radiant than ever (what we are does affect others). His children have begun to abound in every area. His dreams of many years are coming to pass. He is living in a whole new world. The vitality of his youth has been renewed. He has freed himself to reach the fullness of his potential. It appears he will go beyond being a tall oak tree and become a towering redwood, extending beyond the clouds.
Forgiveness is a choice. It is up to each of us to do it. We reap the greatest benefit or the greatest devastation. It is up to you; it is up to me. The greatest benefit of forgiveness is to allow ourselves to go for the gold, to be all we can be, and to achieve great results for ourselves and for others. Have you allowed yourself to be in Tim’s old position? Have you allowed a blast from the past to destroy your dreams? Now is your opportunity to turn things around, to get back on track, and to be all you can be.
