They say today that we are what we eat. However, a greater truth is that we are what we think. The Bible tells us that even as a man thinks so is he. If we are what we think (and we are), then our thoughts should be wisely guided and greatly protected. One of the great advantages of forgiveness is clear thinking. When we become bitter or hate someone, bitterness and hatred begin to consume our thoughts and direct our actions.
I gave a message some time ago called, “Temporary Insanity.” It was a message explaining that when we become angry, we lose touch with reality, say things we don’t mean, and do things we would not normally do. The trouble with anger is that we begin saying and doing things we don’t mean or want to be part of our lives. If we don’t get a handle on it, we start thinking about what we said and what we did, and it begins to become real to us. If you will take an open look at your life, you will see that you think about things before you do them. You do not wake up one day and get a divorce; first you think on the negative over and over. After thinking on your marital problems, they become overwhelming and you end the relationship. The scripture says to be angry and sin not. If we don’t cast down every evil imagination and high thing that exalts itself against the will of God; if we don’t stop ourselves from getting angry and saying the wrong things, they begin to consume us. We begin to act and think that way each day of our lives. We become steeped in our thinking, and before long a root of bitterness has entangled us. Wrong thoughts become a way of life. They stifle our creativity. It is easier to think negatively than positively.
The trouble is that the results of these negative thoughts are not productive. When we become bitter with someone, we start a process that makes us just like them. Remember, we are what we think. What happens to you when you get bitter with someone? You begin to think about what they said. You go over and over what they did. It consumes your thought life until you can recite and review it in your sleep. It is now a part of your life. What have you been thinking on? The terrible thing that was done to you? In turn, you begin living out your thoughts, and the very thing that you have despised, you have become.
To help bring this alive, let me tell a story. I have a clear remembrance from when I was growing up of my dad coming home from work, sitting down in “his” chair, and reading the newspaper. Two words of good advice in our house were not to sit in Dad’s chair and not to disturb him while he was reading the paper. I don’t have any recollection of being bitter over this, but I thought on it often, and it had a great effect on my life. When I was married and began to have my own family, I made sure I did not get hung up on the newspaper or have a designated chair that was for only my use. No, I wanted to be sure that I would never fall into that trap. I did like to read, so I was always ready to enjoy a good book. A special chair? Not me! What I did was move to the bedroom—that was my place of refuge. Don’t disturb me if the door is closed. I am reading a good book, expanding my mind. No, not me, I was nothing like my dad. Instead of a chair, it was the bed. Instead of the newspaper, it was a good book. Different, yes, but exactly the same!
We become like those with whom we are bitter. Why? Because we concentrate on it. Take an inventory of your life, and look at those things you said you didn’t like and you would never do. I think you’ll find them popping up all over the place. If you don’t succeed in finding them yourself, it’s all right. You might be a little prejudiced. Ask a friend to go over the list without a lot of your pre-explanation. Show them the list, and ask them if they see any of these areas in your life. We become what we think. When our mind is free of unforgiveness, we are free to think creatively.
In this busy world we live in today there are so many things that can steal our thoughts. There is very little time where the world today is quiet. There is a constant barrage of televisions in the restaurant, music in the mall, talk shows in the car. If there is silence, we start to look inside, and we can see what needs to be adjusted. When you add in any kind of unforgiveness, it is easy to become afraid of any quiet time. What if I begin to remember? Maybe I will have to forgive. How can I get even? When will it ever end? With our minds racing and focusing on the negative, we shut down our creativity. We fail to recognize all the wonderful things that are around us or realize what could be around us. We begin to live our life in a box. We start closing down the passing lanes, and we find ourselves in a stall. A great benefit of forgiveness is a mind that is free to think on things that are true, noble, just, pure, lovely, things of good report. If there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy, think on these things.
It may be a good time for you to break out the old Walt Disney movie, Pollyanna. It is about a little girl who changed a whole town. That town was upside down and backward. It was full of bitterness, unforgiveness, selfishness, and hate. One little girl introducing “the glad game” was able to get people looking for something to be glad about instead of complaining all the time. She also quoted from Abraham Lincoln, “When you look for the good in mankind expecting to find it, you surely will.” Two lifechanging thoughts from one little girl. It’s a movie with a simple truth that will bring about great results.
What is your choice going to be? Are you going to drop the bitterness? Begin to forgive and forget. Allow your life to mean something in the positive instead of continuing in the negative. Are you willing to break loose from the old pattern, to forgive, and to start the creative juices of your youth flowing again? Are you willing to forsake your future for the benefit of unforgiveness? Do you remember that you are paying a greater price than anyone else? When you refuse to forgive, you bite off your nose to spite your face. Why continue to torture yourself and those around you? Begin to choose to forgive no matter what the cost, knowing that the benefit will far outweigh your efforts. You are about to increase your value. Instead of being a bitter, unforgiving person, void of life, you will be a creative giant, solving problems and full of life.
